


Beautiful Fingers

by Vinushuka



Series: After the Ghoul [11]
Category: Dir en grey
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-13
Updated: 2020-11-13
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:01:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,183
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27541255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vinushuka/pseuds/Vinushuka
Summary: Die is extremely disappointed when Toshiya chooses to leave in the middle of his birthday party to help Eva with her sprained ankle. He has made a new song inspired by Toshiya and now he's going to miss its premiere. The eager reception of his song calls for a celebration after which Die ends up sleeping on Mari's couch and wakes up next morning with a terrible hangover.When Toshiya returns home , Die rushes to meet  him to hear what happened with Eva. However the strain is too much for him and he faints in the middle if Toshiya's account. After recovering it turns out that Die's fears have come true, but that also this cloud cloud has a silver lining...
Relationships: Die/Toshiya (Dir en grey)
Series: After the Ghoul [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1565338
Kudos: 1





	Beautiful Fingers

The arrangements of my birthday party had so far worked well; most of my guests had turned up and the catering company had served us a delicious dinner without mishaps. I had just sat down at my table after the break, when Toshiya rushed into the cabinet wanting my attention:

“I’m sorry, but I’ve got bad news for you. Eva tripped in the stairs and hurt her ankle and knee. I’m going to take her home with a taxi. She sends her apologies to you. I should also inform Mari. Do you have any idea where she is?”

“I think Mari went to powder her nose… Err, are you planning to come back here later on?” I asked feeling disappointed.

“I really can’t say. I promised to bandage her ankle, but I have no idea where she lives and how long it takes to get there”, Toshiya explained in a hurry.

“Okay, I understand. I wish you could have been here. I’m going to perform a new song that I have composed and I would have liked you to hear it”, I said trying to hide my hurt that was forcing tears into my eyes. I had written a song about how Toshiya had helped me to see my true nature and I wanted him to hear its premiere, but now it wasn’t going to happen. I knew Toshiya was a trustworthy man who would keep his promise to Eva whether I liked it or not.

“I’m sorry if I’m going to miss something important but maybe you can arrange me a private performance later”, Toshiya grinned and tapped my shoulder without noticing my watery eyes. “But now I will have to hurry. Please tell Mari what happened when she comes back. See you later.”

“I will. Take care…”, I said struggling to keep my spirits up. The audience would hear my new song tonight no matter what happened.

Mari came back slightly after Toshiya had left and I passed her the news about Eva’s accident. When she didn’t seem to get worried, I left her to talk with Micmoto and headed to the backstage area where my friends were preparing to play. They were all young musicians who were starting their own band and were grateful to be able to play to an audience of experienced musicians. We had rehearsed together the song I mentioned to Toshiya. I would play a guitar in it, but their vocalist would sing the lyrics that I had written. The other songs they would play would be mainly covers of other Japanese bands chosen to entertain the guests.

During the introduction I told the audience that I had written this song to a friend of mine and this was its first and maybe also the last public performance. My pessimism turned into joy when I heard the loud applause of the expert audience after playing the last chords of the song. When I had returned to the table several people came to ask if I could consider publishing it somehow. It didn’t fit Dir En Grey repertoire at all so I would have to come up with another plan. Maybe one day I could sing it myself with my own band… Of course, I didn’t mention my idea to anyone, but this was the moment when I started to think about my own band for the first time.

I hadn’t drunk any alcohol that night, but the relief and the eager reception of my song made me want to celebrate and I ordered a bottle of red wine to our table. The ESP guys and Sugizo had disappeared somewhere so there were only three of us to share the bottle. I had fun discussing with Mari and Micmoto but the further the evening passed the more I missed Toshiya’s company. I was convinced that Eva had arranged this ‘incident’ just to have her way with Toshiya, my Toshiya. When the wine was gone, I ordered shots of whisky for Micmoto and myself. Mari refused stiff drinks and tried to persuade also me to do so. I didn’t listen to her although I knew I should.

When it was time to end the party, I was too drunk to travel with public transport. Mari proposed that I would come to her place and wait for Toshiya there. He would most likely arrive home about the same time as we did. Under the circumstances it sounded like a good idea, so we took a taxi and drove to her house that stood right beside Toshiya’s. It would be easy to keep an eye of his front door and see when he arrived home.

When Mari had taken a shower and prepared for the night she came to ask me if I wanted to sleep in her bed, but I replied that I’d rather stay awake and wait for Toshiya to turn up. I was far too drunk to be of any use to her. She probably realized that herself too and settled with giving me a good night’s kiss and vanished after that to her bedroom upstairs.

I woke up next morning on Mari’s sofa with a terrible headache. I could smell the fragrance of coffee, so Mari was probably preparing some breakfast. I wasn’t sure if I could eat anything, but I sat up on the sofa trying to decide whether I was going to live or die and buried my face into my hands to avoid seeing the bright morning light.

“Good morning, Die! How are you feeling?” I heard Mari’s worried voice close by and peeked carefully at her.

“Not so good, my head is exploding as we speak”, I whined.

“I brought you some painkillers. You should take these and have a nap. After that I can give you a massage”, Mari said sounding confident. She already had some experience with my hangovers.

“Okay, thanks. By the way, Toshiya didn’t return home last night or then I passed out before he did”, I muttered after I had chased down the pills with a glass of water.

“I didn’t see or hear anything either, so he probably spent the night taking care of Eva. Maybe her ankle was more painful than she thought. Typically, the first night after an injury is the worst”, Mari speculated and ruffled my hair. “Don’t worry, he’ll be back soon.”

I followed Mari’s advice and took a nap on her sofa to let the pills do their thing. Mari woke me up about an hour later telling that Toshiya had just turned up with a taxi. I tried to stand up from the sofa, but my head started swimming and I felt so sick that I had to rush to the toilet to throw up. Emptying my guts made me feel somewhat better so that I managed to take a shower and wash my teeth.

During my bathroom visit Mari had made me a portion of yoghurt with berries and some sandwiches to go with a cup of coffee. I could barely eat the yoghurt, but the sandwiches and coffee were too much for me at that moment.

“Thanks for the breakfast. I think I will go and see how Toshiya’s doing”, I said feeling a pressing need to find out what had happened during last night.

“You can come back here if you need a neck massage”, Mari called after me while I was putting my shoes on in the hallway.

I must admit I wasn’t feeling very well when I walked the short way to Toshiya’s door and rang the doorbell. I had to ring twice before he came to open the door.

“Oh, it’s you… please come in”, he said looking surprised. “How was the rest of the party? You look a bit tired… Is everything okay?” Toshiya asked when I was taking off my coat and shoes.

“The party went fine, and my new song was very well received but I probably drank too much after my performance. I came here with Mari to wait for you and I fell asleep on her sofa. What about you?”

“It’s a long story so we’d better go and sit down. Would you like to have an orange juice?” Toshiya asked and stroke my cheek with his long and slender fingers.

“Yes, thanks. By the way, the name of the song is Kireina Yubi”, I said grabbing his hand into mine. “They are your beautiful fingers.”

“That’s so sweet of you”, Toshiya murmured and gave me a hug. I could have stayed forever in his embrace, but my stomach decided to have another emptying exercise and I had to rush once more into a bathroom.

“I’m sorry, but I have one of those hangovers again”, I apologized when I finally returned from the bathroom. Toshiya had brought me the orange juice, so I gulped down most of it in one go and sat down on his sofa.

“So, how’s Eva’s ankle doing?” I asked wanting to hear his account of the night and to get rid of the envy or whatever nagging feeling it was that bothered me so much.

“It’s sprained but not very badly. She can probably use her foot already tomorrow.”, Toshiya said and sat down in one of his armchairs.

“But why did you stay the night at her place then?”, I asked the most obvious question.

“Because she asked me to, and I wanted to have the experience…” Toshiya replied staring at his hands and the ring in his forefinger.

“So, you slept with her because you wanted to know how it feels? How was it then?” I asked feeling the cold spreading from my guts into my head. I was close to fainting.

“Jeez, you’re white as a ghost. Please stop asking these questions and lie down”, Toshiya freaked out and jumped up to grab hold of me.

“Please tell me, did she feel better than me”, I insisted before the darkness swallowed me.

\------

When I came back to my senses, I found myself on Toshiya’s sofa my feet raised on a pile of pillows and a quilt covering me.

“Err… what happened? Did I pass out?” I whispered to Toshiya who was hovering over me looking worried.

“Please, promise me you’ll never drink that much again. It will kill you one day, and I can’t live without you”, Toshiya prayed holding my hand.

“I guess you’re right, alcohol doesn’t suit me… And I can’t live without you either”, I admitted. “But you didn’t answer my question.”

“It was different from what I had experienced before, but it’s done now and won’t happen again.” Toshiya assured me.

“Are you sure?” I asked feeling my body coming alive again and the agony subsiding. 

“Yes, I’m very sure. Would you like to come upstairs with me and let me convince you about that?”

“I don’t think I’m up to that yet, but I could use a sandwich and a cup of tea or coffee”, I said while I maneuvered myself back into a sitting position. At least I didn’t feel dizzy and my head wasn’t hurting any more.

After Toshiya had vanished into the kitchen to make me a sandwich, I started testing my condition by walking around the living room. I was delighted when walking or standing didn’t cause any adverse effects and ventured into the kitchen after that. I stopped behind Toshiya and folded my arms around him.

“You smell so good to me”, I mumbled pressing my nose into his nape.

“Please don’t do that or I might accidentally cut into one of my beautiful fingers”, Toshiya teased me while he was cutting slices of bell peppers onto a loaf of bread.

“Aren’t you hungry yourself?” I asked when I noticed that he was preparing only one sandwich.

“No, I prepared a breakfast to Eva and myself before I left so that she wouldn’t have to move around needlessly.”

“That was very considerate of you… By the way, did you take precautions when you were with Eva?”

“No, I didn’t have anything with me. I assumed she was taking pills or something…” Toshiya said blushing slightly.

“Eva is dating Mari, so she doesn’t need pills and I don’t think she’s ever had men other than you…” I said trying not to lose my temper. “She has used you the same way that Mari used me. We will hear in January if she succeeded.”

“They are moving to Sweden on 24th of January so we might never know what happened”, Toshiya pointed out. “Anyways, what has been done has been done and there’s nothing we can do about it. I got my experience and Eva hers and I’m happy about it. Besides, I wouldn’t mind being a daddy…”

“Eh, really?”

“Correct me if I’m wrong, but you said a while ago that growing old without kids was miserable and that you wanted a family. Maybe that will happen!” my optimistic companion beamed at me.

“Maybe, maybe not”, I mumbled as I hugged him once more. How could I be angry with him!


End file.
